One Hundred Monkeys in Texas

January 27, 2009

I thee wed

Filed under: Books,Marriage — alancochrum @ 9:28 pm
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Quote for the day in a society in which matrimony seems to weigh lightly in many minds:

“The very nature of marriage means saying yes before you know what it will cost. Though you may say the ‘I do’ of the wedding ritual in all sincerity, it is the testing of that vow over time that makes you married. I hope that I will always have faith in the giddy wonders of romance, but in considering what makes a marriage endure, I am likely to employ such ascetic and unromantic terms as discipline, martyrdom, and obedience.”

— Kathleen Norris,
Acedia & Me: A Marriage, Monks, and a Writer’s Life

January 12, 2009

I have GOT to get me one of these

Filed under: Humor,Life,Technology — alancochrum @ 7:14 pm
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I ran across the following note in some computer-program documentation (the word issue being used as a technical term):

“If you are ever lost or confused while working with an issue, the Workflow tab will help you find your way.”


(1) Is there a tab of this kind for … well, Life?

(2) If so, where is it, and WHY am I only now hearing about it?

January 11, 2009

You know you’re in Texas when …

Filed under: Humor,Texas — alancochrum @ 11:23 pm
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A sign spotted in a men’s bathroom at a small college near Dallas-Fort Worth:

“Please DO NOT discard tobacco or chewing gum in the toilets and urinals.”

What a great state this is.

January 8, 2009

It’s a lovely dream — don’t wake me

Filed under: Culture,Humor,TV — alancochrum @ 9:51 pm
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A recent fantasy:

I wish that low-quality Drama — solemn tones of voice, mood lighting, pregnant pauses in speech, teary monologues, catty confrontations — were a tangible substance, something that could be packaged in a bag, bottle or box and sold as a commodity.

Because if it were … I would buy it all up, every bit. I would raise the price so sky-high that truffles, saffron and caviar, by comparison, would be as cheap as Vienna sausages. And then I would give the bad news to all those reality TV shows out there.

I figure that in about three months, about 90 percent of them would no longer be able to afford their particular stock in trade and would be off the air. And the ones that could afford it would be making my bank account look like Warren Buffet’s.

A quick fortune and less junk on TV. What’s not to like?

January 7, 2009

Jingle all the way

Filed under: Books,Humor,Journalism — alancochrum @ 11:29 pm
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The most memorable Christmas present that this recently laid-off newspaper copy editor received in 2008:

My older daughter  bought me a book when the University of Missouri was culling its stacks: Arville Schaleben’s 1961 (my birth year) Your Future in Journalism.

And just to make it extra-special, on the spine label was stamped, in big red letters, “DISCARD.”

Gotta love it.

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